Not a good day

Today was really not a good day, I think I went little over an hour at one time without crying.
And I couldn't ask the one person I really wanted to be near me to either come to me or I to him. Because apparently all my courage left me after I asked my dad for help yesterday.
*takes a deep breath* Today was just not a good day.
I wanted to go down to the market, but I could, I wanted to go to the store but I didn't dare. I can't leave the apartment, not today. Anything and nothing makes me cry!
I just want to feel safe. I want - I miss my mother. I miss my best friend. I miss my family. I miss my friends....