Debts, sleep deprive, going away.

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I just haven't really felt like writing anything about anything.
Yesterday was a great day :) I fixed with my debts and if it all works out like it should I should be out of debt in two years - And I had no debts at "Kronofogden" (head of enforcement district I believe) so a reason to celebrate! Heh I was told by a friend that I had to celebrate it, and not with just some ice cream. 
So together with Vik I went out and had dinner and drank a couple of beers. Was nice.


Me and Vik will also be leaving for my aunt and uncles this Friday. It's been a couple of months since we last went. Looking forward to it.


Haven't really been sleeping these last...five-ish days. and today I'm just not feeling that well but I have things I need to do. Blargh! I just want to go back to sleep. I was supposed take my 'sleeping pill' last night but I got caught up in the game and before I knew it it was past twelve. I went to bed after my brother...I rarely do that. I could use a day to just sleep.


Tomorrow we're going to Stockholm and the Sci-Fi-bookstore :) Gonna check for a birthday present, or rather check if they have it in store, since I want it as well ^^ (Did that perhaps make it easier or harder for you, hun?).


Well bye for now
//Sam

Choices

by ~Unelore

We all have choices in life right? We choose how we live, where we work, who we live with, right?
No. That's not completely right. Because we are born in to this life without a choice. Then our parents, if we are lucky to have them, decides where we live and with whom. They decide where we go to school and they always wants us to do well in school. 
But for some of us that isn't the easiest part to do. Some of us are made fun of, bullied, picked and even kicked at. And that my friend is the first time you can really decide something for yourself. Stand up for what is happening or just get kicked around or do the kicking around. That choice didn't our parents make. We did.
Then our parents makes the decision to who we are allowed to see, some of us have the unluck to be able to hang with whomever we choose. Simply because our parents doesn't care. Then there is those who aren't allowed to 'hang' with others then their parents 'friends' kids. 
And this is where we learn to either dislike society because of the lack of carrying for the poor or dislike it because of they raises the taxes to get more money to those in need.

Don't think that your way at seeing at life doesn't have anything to do with where you where born and how you where raised. Or that it doesn't have anything to do with where you did get your education, if you were that lucky to have gotten one. Because, my friend, that matters more then other things.

What I'm about to tell you is how many see things;
If you where poor growing up, you will be poor when you're an adult.
If you where rich growing up, you will have money when you're an adult.
And here's where most people think that there's no way that anything could change, but you see this is where they are wrong.
A poor person can become rich, by things like saving, getting an education or just by plain luck; win at the lottery.
A rich person can become poor in so many ways that I have no energy to write them up, and I would probably miss a lot of them to if I would try.

So what is it that I am trying to say with this? That we can't choose at all? That everything is ruled by chance?

No, not really. I mean, it's luck if you get born into a family with money and yet unlucky if it turns out that the only thing that matters is the money. I would rather consider myself lucky if I was born in a less fortunate but loving family, that doesn't care for money more then a way to pay the bills and put food on the table.

And yet I think that with all my babble we haven't really become any wiser, have we? 

Then I choose to stop this, and you, friend, can choose to think about what I've said in this weird text of sort, or choose not to.

It's up to you.

My regards to you,
L.A.T.E

Do you remember

This poem I wrote three-ish years ago. Please read to the end of the post.

Do you remember?

by ~Unelore

Do you remember?
All those years ago?
When you held me close,
letting me cry in your arms?

When things got worse,
you held me until all my tears had dried out

Do you remember;
lying down next to each other?
listening to me cry in your arms?
comforting me when things got out of hand?
just being there?

Because I do

I remember
all those years ago
when you held me close
letting me cry in your arms

Being held 'til I calmed down

lying next to you
listening to you sleep
Remembering your arms around me
when things got out of hand

I remember you being there
And I miss you
I really do

I miss listening to you slow breathing 
right there next to me
I miss the feeling of safety
in your arms
I miss everything
I took for granted

I miss you...
---
I have someone like that again in my life, someone that I feel safe with again. Someone that doesn't care about all the shit I've been through, someone that helps me stand when I've fallen, someone that I treasure with all my heart.


I'm going through my things on dA when I read this poem again and realized that I have what I missed back then. And that's a very nice thing to realize I must say.


With love
Sam