Bad experience

Hi,

So I took my ’sleeping’ pill for the first time in a long time last night, and I passed out, and not the nice ‘falling asleep’ passing out no this was the ‘in the middle of doing something falling down’ kind of passing out. Luckily for me I was sitting down when I passed out. When I came to I feel down to the floor, shaking and crying, because the few moments I had been out I had managed to get a nightmare, and I believe I made some very odd sounds since my brother came running asking what was going on. And there I was, apparently very pale, sitting leaning against the wall, shaking and crying hysterical. 

He had to help me up, walk me over to the bed and help me off with some of my clothes. I haven’t been that scared, since…my brother called me in the middle of the night when our mother had a psychosis and I was miles away. I managed to calm down some and eventually I feel asleep.

I thought I would take those pills all nights before school days, but now I am a little afraid, and I was supposed to call my doctor this morning but I was a little busy with everything else so I forgot.

08:35 my phone rings and I wake up, my friend C is coming in a few to pick me up and drive me to school. 08:57 I’m at school, my class starts at 09:00. Had math ‘til 12:00, printed out a couple of pages for my Swedish assignment. Then I walked over to my cousins work and had breakfast/lunch with her for about 45min.

Around 13.30 I met up with J, we went shopping. Had loads of fun actually, I who usually hates shopping. I guess it’s the company ;) When we headed for the bus station we met a friend of ours that tagged along to my place for a while before going back to his driving lesson. 

J and I chatted a lot, like always, watch some Bones, had dinner and it was really nice. I miss being around J, we spent a lot of time together before, hopefully we’ll see each other some more now.

My knees are hurting like hell. It’s been a long time since they hurt this much. Walking in bad shoes and cold weather will do that to me.

Oh and my other brother, the middle one, is here again. And it looks like he’ll be here for a while. And apparently there will be a LAN next week… not sure how I feel about that. I’ll try and find refugee somewhere else if it gets too much. I don’t mind it all too much since it’s not that often, but they tend to take a lot of my energy even though I’m not in the same room and all that.

Bye for now

TTYL
love Sam