Haven't been feeling good, at all, today :( I had fun with my girl-friend today, but even though I had fun I felt really odd today. Been feeling odd all day, can't really put words to how I've been feeling, except odd.
Started with some light exercising twice a day, feeling a little sore but that's alright.
Got a couple of things I need to get done tomorrow, a couple of calls, turn in some papers to social services, and go through some more of mothers things. I got some help yesterday to bring up all mothers clothes from the basement, been through half of it, piled up in "Giving away" and "Throwing away" black plastic bags. And then we need to get all her clothes from grandmas place as well.
And then we have all her other stuff... I am not looking forward to doing this, mostly since I could throw everything away. My friend said yesterday, "If I had to do this, I would have been in tears already. I am almost, and I'm not in your position." and I guess if she was in my shoes she would, I on the other hand see no point in it. Then again, there isn't really much point in crying in the first place, yet I do it every now and then.
And now I have to take care of all the other shit my mother left on us. I am just annoyed at her, sure I cried at the funeral, but I think I cried more because I saw just how sad everyone else was. If one starts others will follow, apparently. Don't get me wrong, I miss her, even if those times are very rare right now.
Still waiting for an answer from the school, getting a little nervous about it. Not going so well applying for work, probably because no one wants to hire someone that isn't really interested in working there in the first place. Applying looks good on paper, but when one isn't really all that suited for the job one shouldn't apply.
Not sure what the hell I will be doing if I don't get in to school. Haven't thought all that far yet...
Started second guessing every choice I'm making, have been making for some time, and it's not a good thing to do. I know that, but apparently what I know I should do and what I do are as always two different things...
Well bye for now
//Sam
No comments:
Post a Comment