Distrust

Any little thing can set me off right now, not only because of everything that has happen no just because something goes a little wrong your life does go on...and being a girl that means that every 28ish day you have even less control over your emotions and I just got there, the days before/after the period is the worse - emotional.
I know that I'm not supposed to know everything, and I know that I need to figure things out and that things will be okay. But even if I know that, right now I feel so helpless. I have little to none energy to focus on what I need to do. And the uncertainty about the soon future (the next couple of weeks/months) is slowly tearing me apart. 
Not knowing where I am going to live, if I even have a place is the thing that's tearing the most. Mostly since even if I do get my own place, I know that I can't live alone. I know I can survive some time alone, but I am afraid of what I might do if there's no one around. I hate that I don't even trust myself to be alone. - I know I don't do anything if I know there's someone coming, doesn't matter if it's five minutes or five hours later, but if there's no one coming in days, I'm fairly sure I will do something stupid. And I don't want that. I don't want to go back to being that person. I want to believe that the person I was then is gone, but I'm so afraid that she's not that I can't trust myself.
I'm not sure how much everyone else trust themselves but I doubt that anyone in their right mind distrust themselves as much as I do.
Then again knowing about this is a big step in getting better...