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May 31, 2010

28th of May


Love, yes that one thing everyone seems to want, besides money that is.  For someone that has no money, they always seem to bring trouble. A problem which could be resolved quickly if I had a job and was actually earning money.
A friend of mine recently came with a snarky remark when I pointed out that even if his rent were to be raised he would be able to afford it, “Just because you can live on nothing-“ Live was it? I don’t live on the little amount of money I get from social services, I barely get by, barely.
Living would be that you actually have a little sum left to spend on yourself, I can’t remember the last time I bought something for myself for the sole reason that I just wanted it, for myself. I had my mother buy me shoes, because I had none to wear.
I need to buy a bra that would stop me from having this aching back every day, but I can’t do that because I have no money left after I’ve paid the bills and bought food. More so, the little amount I do have left is spent to pay everyone else back, since I am a failure and like my friend said “Can’t hold a job for more than two weeks.” Nor can I keep myself in school.
Everyone had such high hopes for me; I had such high hopes for me. I were the one that would make something out of myself, I were to be the one with a good paying job and they all thought I would have a boyfriend and maybe even a kid by now.
And I am however near that. I didn’t even finish school. I have no job, and my love life is pretty much none existent.

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