30th of May
I hate that I lie, I hate that it comes so naturally for me, I hate that that people actually trust me despite everything. But most of all I hate myself.
To be honest I don’t look that bad when I put a little effort in my dressing or how I fix my hair. I know I’m overweight, I know how to lose weight, I know what things work and which don’t, yet I do nothing of it.
I could probably have a boyfriend but none is “good enough” or rather they aren’t like the guys I “fall” for, you see besides looks, attitude, and all that the main thing that a guy much “have” for me to fall for him is plain and simple, no interest in me what-so-freaking-ever as a girlfriend. You see, I can’t allow myself to actually be happy…
I loathe myself, I wish I could be different, that I would treat others better, like they should be treated, that I would stop being this bitch all the time. But you see, being the way I am, complaining, bitching, being miserable and all that shit, that’s much easier. Apparently…
You should make yourself happy. Life IS to short. Smile and have fun! x) You can do it, and don't forget to smile!
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